What if we could negotiate all of our relationships from a place of self-truth and self-love? What if we stopped placing dominance on romantic dynamics and embraced the sanctity of each interpersonal connection? What if we believed our needs were valuable and facilitated getting them met? We’d have to be real honest with ourselves about who we are, what we want, and what we’re willing to give. Let’s work on believing we deserve every morsel of what we crave. Let’s develop relationships while consciously questioning the tenets of monogamy and polyamory. Imagine the dynamics you could enjoy, thrive in, and create if you trusted your vision. Join Sera to uncover ways to stop pretending, to express what you want and risk not only that timeless fear of humiliation and rejection, but also risk actually getting it all, risk feasting at the table of your dreams come true.
tl;dr? Leather, kinky, ace spectrum, D-type. Educator, activist, sex worker. Perv.
Print copy? Sera Miles is CEO of People Exchanging Power. She’s presented at DomConLA, KinkLincs in Seattle, Beat Me in St Louis, and Behind Closed Doors in Tucson, as well as at many groups and universities across the Southwest. In 2016, the Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners of New Mexico invited Sera to speak about BDSM at their annual conference. Currently, Sera is the BDSM advisor to the New Mexico Strangulation Task Force. Sera has appeared in numerous fetish videos, some so ancient they require a VCR, and she stars in "Bonetown" and "Bonecraft," the world's first pornographic computer games. For six vibrant years, Sera led New Mexico FetLifers, a social networking group she founded, and which produced the conference "Evolution of the Revolution." She co-founded New Mexico's Sex Workers Outreach Project chapter and organized Red Umbrella Day from 2009 - 2015. Sera identifies as a demisexual leather D-type, in addition to the identities of owner, activist, editor, type-A personality, sex worker, and Leo Dragon.
Power Dynamics for Radical Relationships
Presenting Yourself with Polished Prose
No matter how many kink events we attend, we meet many people for the first time on-line—and they meet us, when they read our profiles on FetLife, Alt, and the like. Whether you’re using social networking to find partners, friends, work, or community, your on-line profile creates a first impression. And those pesky first impressions? Almost impossible to change. In this workshop, we’ll discuss tools and tricks to help you develop the best first impression possible. Writing, proofreading, brainstorming, and celebrating ourselves in prose are all on the menu. Book editor Sera will share insider tips on developing and executing the best writing possible, while also discussing how to figure out not just how to write about yourself, but also what to write about yourself.
Sex and Self-Love for Survivors
Can sexuality heal our trauma? Is self-love and erotic love possible after our physical, emotional, and sexual boundaries are violated? If we are broken, can we ever be whole? Though perfect answers may not be possible, there are always possibilities. Join Sera Miles for an excavating journey through theories of narrative fulfillment, attachment, neurology, and complex defense mechanisms. Trauma distorts our frame of reference, and can occur at any moment in our lives. This workshop will keep in focus that trauma of any sort affects our lives in whole. Discover techniques that may lead you to let go of what you cannot recapture, and thus allow you to reclaim and freshly claim your erotic, sexual, and personal sense of self.
Sex, Lies, and Infidelity
Ever felt like your best friend was cheating on you with a new acquaintance? Did secrets shred the ties of your extended family? Have you committed an indiscretion for which you still bathe in self-loathing? Secrecy, infidelity, and mendacity occur in all relationships -- familial, platonic, and romantic. Heteronormative. Pansexual. Power exchange. Monogamous. Polyamorous. Why? Join Sera Miles for a discussion of what constitutes infidelity and an in-depth examination of the main reasons why people cheat. We’ll pull apart how secret-keeping patterns, shame, negative self-image, and toxic familial pathologies lead us into behaviors based in mendacity -- as well as into relationships in which we tolerate infidelity. Mendacity and boundary-crossing are deadly, to ourselves and others. You can create new patterns for your relationship and learn how to better negotiate the sickness that secrecy has wrought in your life.
The Art of Storytelling: Incorporating Fantasy Tales into Your Play
We grow up telling stories—in fact, some scientists and linguists wager that the desire to create and tell stories is a critical part of what makes us human. How, then, could storytelling increase the intensity of your play? In this workshop, we’ll discuss the building blocks of spinning a yarn and delve into how storytelling-as-play could work with a partner who is sensory deprived and/or bound. We’ll also consider how storytelling can add erotic intimacy to a long distance relationship. How do you know what story to tell? What do you do if you can’t finish the story? Learn how to troubleshoot the art of storytelling just as you would any other play technique. Best of all, learn how your words and voice can amplify every scene you create. Your mind and imagination has long been in your toy kit—now, let’s add your voice. Note: The workshop as detailed above is crafted for couples. It can easily be modified for single people. Also, the workshop can be adapted for storytelling in various contexts, such as body positivity, disclosing identity, and the framework you have in mind.
The More You Give, the More You Get: Polyamory 101
Learn about the dynamics of polyamory from someone who lives and celebrates a life of many loves. Examine the joys and pitfalls of loving more than one person; common misconceptions about polyamory; and the potential dynamics of living polyamory. This workshop will discuss polyamory as an orientation and moreover give attendees tools for creating positive polyamorist relationships. This class can be taught by Sera and/or Frida, solo or together.